dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
