how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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