Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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