the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
