So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
