If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
