So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
