we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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