I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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