Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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