the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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