I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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