You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
