I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
