He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
