Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
you made out with another girl for some wings
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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