My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
