He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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