I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
