I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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