I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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