Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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