I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
