i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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