On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Don't make out with my wife yet
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
