So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
