Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
