so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
