I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
