yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
