kristin has been a bad kristin
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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