:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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