I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
