did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
