Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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