you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
