I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
