I think I am morally bankrupt
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
