so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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