i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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