even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
