He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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