i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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