Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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