I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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