Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
