So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
