Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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