ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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