I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
