I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
