No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
