Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
