Tell her she can't have a vagina
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
