is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
